Please Don’t Bother the Seniors

We so proudly discuss and teach the importance of interpersonal relationships, empathy, caring for others in the context of Emotional Intelligence- yet we are producing emotionally dud human beings as if out of a factory.

NewsBharati    12-Dec-2022 11:33:30 AM   
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‘Our seniors have worked long and hard to better the economy, raise families and serve their communities. They deserve to live independent and active lives in their golden years.’ - Christopher Dodd

They played their inning- some very well and some not- but now they all are over the hill as they say. People call it the golden period, almost the last quarter- the fag end of a life well lived. Most people worked hard when they could, lived by values their parents and teachers taught or passed on to them. The world was not very affluent then, nor were great medical facilities available or invented back then. Luxury was a ‘luxury’ and not a by the way experience which it is now perceived as. They took a lot of responsibility on their shoulders, were conscientious, generally law abiding, god fearing and less corrupt, to a large extent honest tribe. Life was busy but not fast and furious which has become a norm today. Those were the days my friend they thought would never end.

Please Don’t Bother the Seniors

But all good things as they say have to end. But now they have entered a golden phase of life- don’t bother them. What am I talking about? These guys during their younger days looked after their parents in whatever way they could. They held their hand physically when required. Accompanied them for walks in the park, travelled with them as if enjoying it. This is the most important and cherished feeling by the young and old. They felt blessed that their parents were with them- some were not lucky enough as they lost them early. Those who had their parents with them till their middle ages had ‘wisdom’ at hand. They consulted them on simple and complex issues of life and got unbiased, sincere, well-meaning advice- free of cost. They listened to their parents patiently and looked up to them in every respect. If parents gave advice, they took that advice- Sanskars are a two-way street- if parents give sanskars then children must take them too.

‘Respect your elders’ was something that was never questioned. Today a global citizen at the age of eight has a questioning and independent mind and he asks his mother ‘why should I respect elders?’ The mother has to lump it. He has been proudly programmed to question everything- lock stock and barrel.

We so proudly discuss and teach the importance of interpersonal relationships, empathy, caring for others in the context of Emotional Intelligence- yet we are producing emotionally dud human beings as if out of a factory.

Today one often reads in papers, articles and from what’s App University that parents should keep a close watch on their children. They should teach values at home, be a role model and bla bla bla! Point taken. Point is- who is listening? People don’t respect teachers- that includes students and their parents too.

Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life... and Maybe the World a book by Admiral William H. McRaven. Is book on ‘sanskars’ but who cares? Today young minds think they know it all and no one can teach them anything and no one should even try that. They are global citizens who have bigger goals- change the world, but won’t change themselves, clean the world, your own room is dirty that doesn’t matter. At 25 years of age you still want your parents to that for you? Yes you do. You want them to make your bed as you like a lazy lump wake up at 11 in the morning. You are a global citizen? Huh.

Ultimate threat – emotional as well physical is – ‘I am an adult and I can take my own decisions! Don’t interfere in my life! I can take care of myself and if you speak a word, I will leave this house!’ Voila, bravo, what a modernistic thinking. Some may be brave enough to get a Maha Vir Chakra when they say ‘If I commit suicide, you will be responsible!’ And Society and law peps them here too. ‘Kisee ki maat suno, sirf apne dill ki suno- you are in 2022 and not in the bloody 18th century’ goes the rant of colleagues and friends. Shabaash.

The society collectively sins as it supports this action of a 25 year old adult child. Law stands by them and so do activists. They will take parents to court if they interfere with the freedom to choose- of their adult child! Lawyers will appear from nowhere to offer free service to the 25 year old child adult. ‘Maar dala, kuchchaal dala ek ladki ko’ scream the headlines- ‘We are with you we stand by you’ the liberal, solidarity brigades and the socialites come up in scores – (by the way they have enough trouble at home).

The young guys with hormones getting into their heads cannot think or they do not want to think. They think they can alone conquer the world, some feel they have already done that.

It is sad that parents even then cannot cut off the umbilical cord. They become helpless. Society still expects them to tame and teach kids who are hulks and no more kids. One of my close friends who climbed the corporate ladder and rose to become CEO of a Multi-National Corporation said ‘We from the age of five were made to wash our own undergarments and socks and I do this till date!

Can you expect this from a child today? No way. If you can you are blessed.

Most young parents have given up, teachers have given up and they take the safest route ‘If you can’t beat them, join them’. As they say ‘Kharbooja Churi paar girey ya Churi Gharbooje par- Katega to Kharbooja he’.

Young parents can take this - they are batting middle order. And it may be their wish.

I remember watching a movie- a very touchy one though- ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’. A very busy man- Mitch Albom- great at Multi-tasking and very much a workaholic gets moved to see his former professor ‘Morrie’ on a TV show where he tells the world at large through this show that he is suffering from a disease and dying of ‘Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis’, often referred to as "Lou Gehrig's disease" or ALS. He decides to visit him once a week on every Tuesday at his home, discussing several issues of how to live a better life and also about caring for others. From Morrie, an elderly man he learns the ‘wisdom of life’ and is able to absorb those sanskars in his life for living a better, more fulfilling innings.

Wish the young generation learns from the wisdom of the wise at home.

Remember “Your Mothers are no more Señoritas but are now supposed to be enjoying Seniority! Please let them”
But the people who have done it all and now want some peace let the world don’t bother them, don’t keep expecting them to keep doing it for others till their last day, and don’t mess up with their golden period please. Amen.

"All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe." ~ Woody Allen

 
 

Virender Kapoor

A thinker, educationist and an inspirational guru. Kapoor is an Indian who wears many hats. An educationist of repute, he was the Director of a prestigious management Institute under the Symbiosis umbrella. He has emerged as a leading think tank in human behavior, motivation and success. As a celebrity author, his name appears with the likes of Thomas Friedman and Dale Carnegie. He has authored more than 30 books as of now which are on Amazon worldwide and several of his books are in the pipeline.