Let us understand what is willpower, patience, self-control and their importance for our wellbeing and also for our success in life. Thereafter we will look at how we can use social media using our cell phone and our computer to build these traits. Sounds weird? But I will explain to you how it is possible!

Will power and self-control are very closely related qualities but patience has somewhat different connotation

Will power and self-control: It is the strength within you that helps you to strive to achieve your goals. It is that power which intentionally directs your mind towards thought or action. It is a power which is necessary to pursue a rational cause which may be against our desires and comfort zone. It is thus the most important and required inner strengths to achieve our goals and succeed in life. In other words, it is the will and determination to do something or achieve something however difficult, against all odds. If you have the will, you will go through all difficulties, pain and pressures to achieve what you want. Most of our bad habits are due to laziness or lack of willpower. Many of us are impulsive and over react even for small things and will power helps control such impulsive behavior.

Determination, strength of character, firmness of purpose, resolution, resolve, drive, commitment, dedication, and tenacity are some words which also closely describe will power. Edmund Hillary who was the first man to climb the Mount Everest, Mahatma Gandhi, Hellen Keller, Sachin Tendulkar, and Albert Einstein all had very strong will power. You look at any one who has succeeded in life and you will find him having strong will power.

Many of us make big plans, dream big, make resolutions, but some of us do not achieve these while some others do. The difference between those who succeed and who don’t is self control and will power. For example actors like Shah Rukh Khan, Tiger Shroff and others who achieve six pack abs require a great will to do this. They have to control diet, work out regularly and rigorously every day. Some of them lived on boiled vegetables and chicken for months on.

Therefore, at its essence, willpower is the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet our long-term goals . Many people believe they could improve their lives if only they had more of that mysterious thing called will power. Will power helps overcome inner resistance, procrastination, helps you work against all odds, enables you to say no when required, able to achieve whatever you decided to do and helps you act instead of day dreaming.” Willpower is like a muscle: The more you train it. The stronger it gets.” But if you don’t use it, you lose it.

Patience: It is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious. If you don’t have patience you will end up with frustration with very small problems that come your way or when your wish is not fulfilled. Patience is a lifelong practice as well as a way to find emotional freedom. Patience doesn’t mean giving up or resignation. It’s an emotionally freeing practice of waiting, watching, and knowing when to act. You can drive yourself crazy, behave irritably, fume and fret, feel victimized, or try to force an outcome—all these are self-defeating reactions which bring the worst out of you. Sometimes you look silly pulling your own hair out for something stupidly small. This is frustration. Frustration is a feeling of agitation and Helplessness triggered when your needs are not met. Life is not a bed of roses, you will never get all that you want, and there will be some achievements and some failures. We have become too used to immediate results. Emails zip across the globe in seconds. You can get the temperature in any city at the click of your mouse. If a picture doesn’t down load immediately you fret and fume, you yell as if heavens have fallen.

Frustration is an emotion which makes us tense, kills our sense of humor and sometimes makes our life miserable. This can lead to serious problems like sadness, depression and even Suicide. Conquering frustration will revive your emotional life by making it your choice how you handle daily hassles and stress .You have a choice- either remain frustrated at your own peril or transform yourself with the greatest virtue- patience.

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting” - Joyce meyer

Part 2

Social media is an all-important tool which can be cleverly used for our benefit in more than one way

All of us use social media for several hours every day. Whats app, Facebook, instagram and twitter- this is the usual order of preference in most cases. So much so, that unfortunately these tools which are supposed to connect us to the rest of the world, especially our near and dear ones have become big time wasters and some of us are almost addicted to these. Since all these are available on mobile phones, they can be accessed 24 by 7 even while walking on the road, sitting in a park, having a discussion with a friend, watching a TV or traveling in a train or a bus. We feel that without this our life will become very difficult or worse meaningless. In fact today a mobile is our most prized possession which we don’t let go even for a minute.

You can do the following to build patience and will power by using your mobile wisely.

• Decide on daily mobile free hours: We have 16 waking hours in a day. Decide on disciplined use by allotting two hour windows where you will keep your phone on silent mode. Three such windows can reduce usage by six hours. Heavens won’t fall if you don’t respond to all the calls immediately. You should check for missed call alerts and respond selectively thereafter. Once you get used to this make four windows. This way you will build self control and restraint.
• Never use mobile after 10 PM. This can be easily done if you have the will power or you want to develop will power. After all willpower is nothing but having a will and the power to execute that will.
• Have patience: Don’t respond to every message or tweet or a post on the facebook. Apply three filters before you respond- is this information useful? Is it true and is this good information. Otherwise delete.
• Power to delete: Have the courage to delete a mail or a message which is useless. This makes you more resolute and determined.
• Be brief: This is important, don’t keep chatting for nothing. Have the will power to hang up and say buy to the person you are speaking to. Be polite but firm and diplomatic.
• Kill the forwarding itch: This is the most difficult to do. We all do this every day, we forward most messages on whats app to all and sundry. If you can stop this you have achieved almost a ten on ten in will power.
• Avoid joining groups: These are the biggest time wasters. Unless it helps you learn something, quite the useless ones.
• Mobile fasting: People fast on some days of the week where they do not eat food. Try to do this with your mobile. Switch it off or keep it on silent mode for the whole day. Can you do this once week? If you can, you have built the strongest will power and determination in your character. You would develop tremendous self control.
• Forget it on purpose: When you go out for a walk or to a friend house or to play with friends, don’t carry your mobile with you. Nothing will happen if you don’t have it with you. You need to get used to not using it, build a habit of depriving yourself of the phone on purpose. This builds will power.
• Don’t worry about likes: Sometimes we post a mail on Facebook and expect people to like our post or comment positively. This is not necessary. Don’t worry about the number of likes, less or more. The world won’t end if some people don’t like your ideas. This builds resilience and being reactive. Builds patience.
• You don’t have to respond to every post: You have hundreds of friends on facebook who post something or the other every day. In fact, they send multiple posts. You do not have to respond and react to every post. Glace through it and move on.
• Don’t react to obnoxious or messages that are meant to insight you: Read, watch but don’t react. Gautam Budha’s biggest teaching is,” watch don’t react”. This is two-pronged approach to build character. First it gives you peace of mind, second it builds strong character and patience.
• Put a sticker on your mobile- “Keep me away for while please. I am your mobile but I also get tired” with an angry emoji. Could do this on your laptop too. If you listen to your own message, you have become master of yourself and master of self control.
• Control the morning itch: Most of us start looking for our mobile phone right in the morning the moment we get up. Develop self control by saying a firm no to yourself and read newspaper or listen to the radio but do not pick up the phone before you have breakfast or some time you fix for yourself.
• Move away from laptop as much a possible: If you have a laptop, don’t remain glued to it the whole day. Go for a walk, play some outdoor games or read a book or magazine.
• Watch TV and no movies or clips on mobile: Do not watch movies on mobile or short videos. Get rid of this habit and by doing this you develop self restraint
• Inform all friends: Have the courage to inform friends that you have made certain resolutions to build your will power and patience and they should understand and appreciate your resolve
• Make it your style statement: ‘No to plastic no to substance abuse and no to Mobile’. Start a campaign in your friends circle and ask people to share this good message. Remember this message is useful, good and truthful. It passes the test of three filters. Be a leader all the way. You will earn respect.
• Create positive peer pressure on others!: You make your own rules and consider that you are the best. Remember Amitabh Bachchan’s dialogue “Line wahan say shuru hoti hai jahan hum khadey hotey hain”. You need to take a call and for that you require guts, determination and patience and high self confidence. Remember without guts there is no glory. Instead of coming under negative peer pressure, you create peer pressure on others by using social media and mobile for your own good.
• Try this: Don’t text any message while walking on the road. No phone calls while driving.
• Never annoy others with your behavior: Never text, or speak to any one while on the dining table or having tea or snacks with friends. You need to have self control to do this.
• It’s now in your hands: Remember the tool ie mobile to develop will power and patience is right in your hands. This tool allows you to put things in such a way that you are able to become stronger in character and any which way you look at yourself. Remember great people are still great who don’t use a mobile. Did you know that Tom cruise, Sarah Jessica Parker and even Warren Buffet don’t use a mobile at all. If they can, so can you.

Part 3

You can’t do it alone

We live with friends and relatives who also use phone very erratically. They are also struggling with how to keep themselves away from this addiction of phone and social media. Were people not living well and were they not happy when mobiles were not invented? Yes they were. People from those days will tell you that they had much more relaxed life and free time those days.

Since everyone is using mobiles and social media you got to take people along with you. Else people will misunderstand you and may label you as a recluse. It is therefore better to tell your close friends and relatives whom you communicate with very frequently about your resolve and why you are doing it. Yes, you tell them that you are taking this action to build your will power, patience and self-control. Some may disagree but that is where your will must prevail. Tell them about your plans which you can make considering the points given above. Tell them the time you will not use the phone, your mobile fast day and windows of absence. You have to be a leader with strong will and resilience. Gradually people will understand and as you inspire them, they may follow your footsteps. In fact it will be better to make a closed user group of say ten friends and some relatives to take this mission forward. You can involve your parents too-more the better.

If you want this mission impossible to be mission possible you got to use your art of persuasion to convince others. This is a bonus too. When you have a big enough group you will find that your ambition and mission is accomplished. If you are able to do all this keeping will power, patience and self control then you will be a winner and you will see how positive and how strong you have become. You may have withdrawal symptoms like a detoxification effect but you have to have a strong will to carry on regardless and to achieve your goal - come what may.

Don’t bite more than you can chew

We have seen twenty-two ways of using social media and mobile phones to build will power and patience. You need not start with all of them together. Take up three to five suggestions and implement them to the full extent. This way your plan and effort will be successful. Taking too much on your plate may discourage you and cause frustration. It is better to go step by step. Let me assure you this - that in the long run your efforts will transform your personality and change your life to become a better person and will help you succeed in whatever you plan to do in the future.