Lessons From the East XV: Creation of Craving & Addiction, Are you suffering from it? - Part 1

What is craving & addiction & how is it caused?

Can craving be avoided or cured?

What is meant by Anarth Parampara as per Vedant?

Someone we know, someone we care about, someone we are concerned for, is suffering, is struggling, is seeking intervention silently, requesting subtly, crying in one's own heart, and seeking help.

Do we have an answer, do we have a solution, do we have a fix to the quandary?

Prelude 1


At Nashik after doing odd jobs, Mandeep's grandfather started working in a scooter garage. He was quick in his work and a smart observer. He learned the tricks of the trade and understood the nuances of the auto business and its parts. Soon, he started his spare parts shop, where he will not only sell spare parts but fix them too. Later his son Surjeet joined the business, and they set up a small factory and started manufacturing and exporting beyond retailing and fixing spare parts. Life was always good for Mandeep as he got all the attention, and affection and all his demands were met instantly. Mandeep’s father and grandfather couldn’t get a chance to study and hence wanted Mandeep to be highly educated and go to the best academic institutes.

Grandfather always taught the principles of Kirat Karna (Honest Labour) and suggested his grandson to follow it whether it's work or studies, and results will come. Mandeep was laborious but due to excessive attention from the family, and a protective environment he turned impatient as well as closed to even constructive criticism or suggestions. Whilst he was still appearing for his senior secondary grade, he cracked the most reputed engineering entrance examination in the country. However, his rank was not great. His parents and grandfather wanted him to be in Maharashtra, but his poor rank forced him to take up a top-ranked college in Punjab. Things seemed to be going well for the lad in the first year and in a matter of a few months in the third term, Mandeep's grades started dropping suddenly.

The boy who never knew what tobacco or smoking became a chain smoker with occasional drugs. Surjeet and his wife visited the campus multiple times and saw the change in the attitude and behavior of the boy but thought it was part of the growing process. Mandeep’s Telugu roommate was a witness to Mandeep converting from a happy-go-lucky cheerful friend to an angry, agonized, agitated sufferer, all on account of showing the world he lived in, that he is cool, strong, and powerful. This time, an august company within the campus and words of wisdom from his grandfather couldn't insulate Sandeep from the evil company that he was exposed to outside the campus. What started as a friendly fag a couple of years back, today has brought the entire Singh family to their knees.
What happened to Mandeep, why did this happen to Mandeep and could this be prevented?

Understanding the problem is the key, once one knows which questions to ask, one undoubtedly figures out the answer.

Prelude 2

Rashmi’s parents’ eyes were red with anguish and grief. For the last two days, they haven’t slept even for a minute since the time they heard the news that shook their world and ripped their hearts apart. They just cremated their only daughter, the eldest among three children and an apple of an eye for the family. Rashmi was always effervescent and chirpy and if she would have been alive today, the family would be celebrating her twenty-second birthday next week. Four years back Rashmi met Salim, while she was standing outside the college with her friends talking about things she wanted to pursue after college. Salim was well-built and handsome, Rashmi was beautiful and full of energy and both believed that this was love at first sight. Rashmi was always reserved about her emotions but Salim pursued. After multiple endeavors and persuasion from Salim, Rashmi got married at the tender age of nineteen, pausing all her life plans and her belief in creating a marvelous new world.

Salim’s family was in the leather Shoe manufacturing business and was doing well in their trade. For a year everything seemed to be just perfect. After a year of marriage, time, things, and relations started to reshape. Salim first requested that Rashmi should now adopt his religion, as they would have children in the future and it would be confusing for the children what to pursue from here. Rashmi was brought up in a broad-minded environment and believed that religion is a methodology to reach happiness and peace and accepted the request. Next came the pressure of wearing a burka, which she also abided by. As she was adjusting to the new religious environment, covid struck. Due to covid, Salim’s family business slowed down and they asked for a small loan from Rashmi's father. He obliged. The demand kept on increasing and the amount in no time ran into a couple of crores. Rashmi’s father gave all his savings and had little left for Rashmi's younger brothers who were still studying. He wavered to Salim’s further demands. From that day the life of young Rashmi turned into a living hell. Salim’s family became hostile to Rashmi and started torturing Rashmi. Rashmi sustained the brutality for a while but eventually crumbled. The death that day, that moment, that time seemed better than life.

We have heard or read the story of Rashmi and Salim in the past, names may have been different, the situation may vary but the outcome is mostly the same.

The question one needs to ask here is - When every parent sends their children to the best school, gives them the best food, the best education, best tools & toys for enjoyment, all are meant to make them physically strong but do they focus on making their child financially independent, emotionally independent and spiritually knowledgeable?

Do daughters know about personal financial planning and the nuances of personal money management?

Another pertinent question is – What is love at first sight? Is this love for the person or for the body of the person of the opposite gender where the body is just a small part of it and is it justified?

Does the brain, behavior, words, mannerism, mind, one's thinking, one's outlook towards life and the future, and one's perspective on various topics and issues matter?

Can these facets be ignored while keeping the physical body as the only consideration?

Prelude 3

Gerald Anthony was unceremoniously removed by the regulator and the board on a recommendation of the Women's Grievances Redressal Cell. A couple of years back, Gerald was the poster boy of changing corporate India. He represented hope, a belief, a confidence for tier three, and tier four cities that personal ability solely determines a person's success independent of crony capitalism, independent of nepotism, and independent of high-flying branded education.

The dream is now shattered as Anthony exits his corner office overlooking the Sea at Nariman Point, in Mumbai.
Anthony came from a small hamlet in Goa and completed his schooling, graduation, and post-graduation in management from Goa itself. The Goan boy had seen tough life since childhood, with his father working as a driver ferrying tourists both Indian and foreign and his mother catching fish from the sea and selling whatever she caught on that particular day. There were days in monsoon when the family barely managed a single meal, when tourists were fewer and it was unsafe in stormy weather to fish. Anthony was the youngest in the family with two older sisters and thus had the privilege of attending school and completing his education without any break. He was also good with his words beyond studies. He was not very athletic, but his looks and articulation were enough to charm anyone. He used them appropriately to get a scholarship for completing his Master in Management from the top institute of Goa.

His aspirations were always high and his dreams came true when he got his first job in Mumbai at an Indian private-sector bank in sales. Anthony always knew what he wanted - money, luxury, fame in that order. In the next two decades, changing eight jobs, finally he landed in the corner office.

Through the years he hid his emotions and feelings. He initially became the punching bag of his seniors and colleagues, agony aunt in the middle of his career, and Mr. Popular whilst climbing the last leg of the corporate ladder. He ensured he did what people wanted him to do, he said, what was expected to be spoken at that occasion and dressed to be adored by others. As soon as Anthony was elevated as the CEO, something changed, the soft-spoken boy with a goan ascent became authoritative and irrational. He believed his words were final and anyone opposing him or presenting views was hostile towards him. He already had gathered wealth and a lifestyle one would be envious of, what he still was lacking was universal fame, being put on the cover page of every global magazine, and being the center of every conversation.

His earlier co-workers and peers who were happy to have him at the helm of the company couldn’t believe that this is the same Anthony they have interacted with in the past. A month back, a new employee who had studied at NYU (New York University) joined the firm in the strategy team.

Unfortunately on that fateful day, the strategy head was on emergency leave and thus the new joinee went to present and discuss the new project findings with the CEO. Anthony was upset sitting on his high chair, as his life story from rags to riches was presented by the journalist with a different undertone. The portrayal of success was more a fluke than a planned, well-strategized sequence of events designed by Anthony’s perseverance and persistence. To make things worse this was a Page 5 story and his picture was in a small box on the cover page. His mind was occupied and conniving on how to get this undesirable error corrected. Suddenly in the middle of the conversation with the new joinee who was presenting to Anthony, on a trivial matter, he blew his top and slapped the girl, suddenly in the face. Later he apologized but the girl decided to pursue the matter with the Women's grievance cell, with the board of the company as well as with the regulator. A committee was formed and after two months of rigorous back and forth, Anthony was asked to step down.

What brought the change in Anthony? Is it Power or something else?

Are power and fame addictive?

Why do people want recognition, praise, and appreciation of others? Why is Self-appreciation or self-satisfaction with good work, not enough?

What is common among all three situations? Can these events, mishaps, and adversities be prevented? What happens to Mandeep Singh, Rashmi's parents, and Anthony?

We will try and find answers in Part II. Unfolding the concept of Craving & Addiction - The Solution & the fix

Also, we will decipher Anarth Parampara which can catch hold of anyone, even the richest, the smartest, the wise, and the most intelligent as well, and bring them under its wings of addiction.